"If your compassion does not include yourself, it is
incomplete." ~ Jack Kornfield
Hello amazing care-giver! What you do is incredible!
Whether you're a parent, caring aging parents or spouse, or caring for someone with an illness - being a care-giver
can be hard work. Finding the balance of being a care-giver and taking care of your needs shame- and guilt-free can
prove to be even harder. However, if we're not careful we will burnout.
A Few Signs & Symptoms of Compassion Fatigue
tired or easily fatigued
powerless over your time
feelings of anger
Feelings of guilt, shame, or selfishness pop up when we
acknowledge our need for a break.
No, it's not selfish to take time for self-care, to replenish
the soul, and take a breath.
Instead, it's good for our hearts, our minds, and our souls. Self
care allows us to not only be better to ourselves, but to be more
present when caring for our loved ones. Giving need not be at the expense of self.
I would love to make an appointment, but (ahem) I don't have time because (ahem) I'm taking care of others. (Insert we've had this conversation face.)
Right. A 50 minute appointment might feel like a lifetime to someone who's used to giving and not receiving. Sound familiar. But aren't you here because you want to make a change or you're at least thinking about it? This could be another small(ish) step in finding a space for yourself. Please know there are day and evening time slots to allow you to find a time that fits with your schedule.
"What we don't need in the midst of struggle is shame for being human." ~ Brene Brown
Just in case...
If you enjoy reading or want to include it into
your self-care regimen, check out Trauma Stewardship: An
Everyday Guide to Caring for Self While Caring for Others, by
Laura van Dernoot Lipsky with Connie Burk. To keep it
lighthearted, there are a few funny cartoons scattered
What sets me apart from other therapists?
There is a connection between our heart, mind,
soul, brain, & spirit. Therefore, I approach therapy from a
holistic and strength-based perspective. I seek to better
understand and treat your heart, mind, soul, brain, & spirit,
discover your innate strengths, and honor your uniqueness.
It is possible for you to find balance & give the same compassion to yourself as you do to others.
So how does one find balance?
It can be precarious finding the balance between doing for others while finding the same kindness and compassion for ourselves. We can begin with looking at our daily to-do list, expectations, the feelings surrounding those expectations, and what our ideal day looks like. After which we take one really really really small step and begin to carve out time for self care. Begin with only 2 minutes of quiet time - before getting out of bed In the beginning uncomfortable feelings, like guilt, may arise, but over time it will become easier to take a few moments or a few breaths knowing it's for our greater good.
How therapy can inspire..
Therapy supports you while you establish additional skills you can utilize in day-to-day life, as well as introduce new concepts. And, therapy will build upon our innate strengths. Good news: being care-givers means we already have a multitude of strengths and skills that are working for the betterment of others. Now it's our turn - it's time to share some of that yummy goodness with ourselves! WE deserve it!!!
No two people or families are the same, therefore your sessions will be tailored specifically to you. I utilize mindfulness-based practices, attachment theory, emotionally focused therapy, family systems, cognitive behavioral theory, internal family systems, and work towards a felt experience. I will suggest homework as a way to take what we've discussed in session, and carry it with you throughout your week.
In addition to providing easy to use tools you can utilize on a daily basis, I will also provide an opportunity to journey into the root of your problems.