The Power of the Pause

As I sit here nursing a migraine and knowing the inevitable hangover will eventually take its place. Staring in a daze at everything I need and want to do, I consider my body’s request. 

Or, perhaps, its demand to pause. 

I’ll admit I’m not a fan of being told to take a break.

You’re not the boss of migraine.

Not when there are so many ways I want to gain momentum. Not only for myself and my business but because of the stories I tell myself about taking a break or pausing. 

The story I tell myself is that if I’m stressed, overwhelmed, and have a lot coming at me at one time, then I’m busy. And well, if I’m busy, I’m also moving forward and succeeding in business and life. 

At the same time, if I really stop and think about it, any time I’ve ever taken a break or paused, I’ve come back feeling rejuvenated. This isn’t the only way pausing can show up. 

Pausing before responding is huge. 

Allowing you to check yourself before you say something you may not be able to take back or agree to something you might resent. 

We’ve all been there at some point in our lives. 

Although learning to pause won’t solve all of your problems, it will help you find pockets of peace in the present that may propel you into greatness. It’s sort of like the pulling back of a rubber band and that slight but meaningful pause right before it’s launched forward. 

There are so many things coming at us every single day and moving swiftly from one thing to the next. Trying to tackle your neverending to-do list. 

I’m sure the idea of a pause sounds like a great idea. But that’s for other people, you say. The ones who have it all figured out and have somehow crafted or manifested this time. And also highly unlikely it will happen. 

So is the same in life. Sometimes, the pause feels like a pullback, and yet it can launch you forward. 

In our fast-paced world, the art of pausing has become an increasingly elusive skill. The relentless pursuit of productivity, the constant bombardment of information, and the stories you tell yourself about all of it make it challenging to embrace the quiet moments that can lead to profound personal growth. 

Yet, beneath the surface of your busy life lies the transformative power of pausing—a simple yet potent practice that can bring about a renewed sense of clarity, purpose, and overall well-being.

What is this elusive phenomenon known as pausing? I’m so glad you asked. 

Pausing, in its essence, is a deliberate act of slowing down, disconnecting from the chaos of daily life, and allowing yourself to be fully present in the moment. It’s intentional, instead of waiting for illness to interject and make the decision for you. 

It’s a physical cessation of activity and a mental and emotional reset. The power of pausing lies in its ability to break the cycle of constant motion, offering a space for reflection, introspection, and self-awareness.

How is pausing helpful, and what can I do to pause mindfully? 

I love the irony in my question. The need to do. Pausing as a means to check off something on the to-do list. 

I paused today. Check. 

Before I continue, indulge me in mindful breathing. I mean, it’s technically something you can do, and it’s accessible. 

Notice your breath coming into your body when you inhale. The way the air may feel cool or how your stomach or chest rises. Then, notice how the air is warmer on your exhale and how your chest or stomach lowers. Sit and notice for a few cycles of your breath. 

There’s no need to speed up or slow down your breathing. There’s no need to take deep breaths. Simply breathe. 

Mindful breathing encourages us to shift our attention away from external stimuli and turn it inward. As we inhale and exhale consciously, we create a bridge between the mind and body, fostering a sense of calm and presence.

Riding on the wave of groundedness, let’s tap into the power of the pause. 

Stress Reduction

The act of pausing can reduce stress on your mind, body, and soul, thereby creating a more connected relationship with yourself and others. Incorporating regular pauses into your day can profoundly impact stress reduction. The constant barrage of stimuli and the pressure to meet deadlines contribute to heightened stress levels for many individuals. 

Pausing interrupts this stress cycle, resetting the body's stress response system. 

Mindful or intentional pauses activate the parasympathetic nervous system, triggering the relaxation response and promoting a state of calmness. Over time, this can lead to a more balanced and resilient response to stressors. Yes, please! 

In relationships, pausing reduces the stress of saying something damaging to your partner. Taking a moment to consider your emotions, the stories you’re telling yourself about the situation, and what outcome you desire before you respond can create an enormous shift in how you relate to your partner and yourself. 

It’s not easy. And it takes time. Initially, it’s an after-the-fact move, somewhat like depressing the “do-over” button. It’s in the practice of doing it over that it will eventually become easier to catch mid-sentence. 

Enhanced Decision-Making and Problem-Solving

In the relentless pursuit of productivity, decision-making often becomes a hurried process, with little room for thoughtful consideration. 

The power of pausing lies in its ability to enhance decision-making and problem-solving skills. When we take the time to pause and reflect, we allow our minds to step back from the immediate pressures and gain a broader perspective. 

This mental distance fosters creativity, clarity, and a deeper understanding of the challenges at hand, paving the way for more effective solutions. 

As a side note, this is not to be confused with decisively quick decision-making. The kind that doesn’t allow you to wallow and avoid making a decision. More on that another time.

Growing and Nurturing Emotional Intelligence

Pausing is not only a tool for managing external stressors but also a pathway to growing your emotional intelligence. Think about it: life happens, and you get busy.  

In your busyness, you may react impulsively to situations driven by emotions (like frustration or excitement) rather than thoughtful responses. 

Pausing provides the necessary space to recognize and understand your emotions, leaning into your self-awareness and empathy. As you become more attuned to your emotional landscape, you gain the ability to respond to others with compassion and understanding.

Creating Meaningful Connections

The power of pausing extends to your relationships, allowing you to connect more deeply with others. When you pause and truly listen to those around you, you convey a sense of presence and genuine interest. This, in turn, strengthens the fabric of our relationships, fostering understanding, goodwill, and connection. 

If you’ve stayed with me this far, you’re probably wondering how to incorporate a pause into your day. Well, I have a few ideas. 

The Art of Strategic Pausing

Strategic pausing involves intentionally incorporating moments of stillness into your daily routines. It requires a conscious effort to step back from the day's demands and create pockets of time for reflection. 

This can take the form of short breaks during work, a few minutes of mindful breathing before a crucial meeting, or a deliberate pause before responding to a challenging situation. Basically, it’s a timeout so that you can tune in. 

By strategically integrating pauses, you empower yourself to navigate the complexities of modern life with greater clarity and intention.

The Ritual of Daily Reflection

Take a few moments each day to reflect on your experiences, achievements, and challenges. This allows you to gain valuable insights into your life. Reflection promotes a deeper understanding of your values, goals, and aspirations, guiding you toward a more intentional and fulfilling life. 

Whether through journaling or taking a moment to brain dump, meditation, or a quiet walk, the act of daily reflection becomes a compass, directing us toward our true north.

Conclusion

In a world that often glorifies constant movement and productivity, pausing is a counterbalance—a source of strength and resilience in the face of life's challenges. 

We tap into a wellspring of clarity, creativity, and self-awareness by embracing intentional pauses. It allows you to form a better relationship with yourself and others. 

Pausing is not to be confused with escaping reality. Instead, it’s about engaging with life more mindfully and intentionally. 

Integrating the art of pausing into your life unlocks the potential for profound personal growth, building a foundation for a more meaningful and purpose-driven existence.

My challenge for you is to try it out. I’d love to hear from you. Where can you include a pause in your day? A slower transition from one place or task to the next? With your partner, child, friend, or pet? Sitting to reflect on how you want to move forward in life? 

Stay Curious,

Sheila Tucker, LMFT

Sheila Tucker is a licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of Heart Mind & Soul Counseling. She empowers clients who overthink, worry, and experience their fair share of anxiety to become more rooted in peace, ease, and confidence. When not in the office, you'll find her walking her pups or planning her next mountain getaway with her husband.