Taking up Space

“Take up space”, she said. 

Uh, ok.

There were wall-to-wall people in this yoga class. For example, if you have wide feet, you’re so stepping on someone else’s mat close. 

For the entire 90 minutes of hot yoga, I did everything I could not to breach my shrinking rectangular mat. Or tumble off of it. And now, during our final resting pose, she says to take up space - to wholly stretch out our bodies. 

My heart started racing, and I felt buzzy like a shaken carbonated drink. Why was I anxious about lying on my back on the floor? This is one of the most coveted yoga poses. You just sort of lay there.

First thought. Uh, I don’t want to touch my sweat, much less anyone else's. And I would undoubtedly graze someone else’s sweat with my fingertips and toes.

Second thought, ok? I’m up for the challenge. (Damn my people-pleasing) 

Slowly, much like I would imagine a sloth on a yoga mat, I tiptoed my feet and legs toward the furthest corners of my mat. Then, I inched my fingers and arms away from my body. Ready to draw them back in at the first inkling of personal contact. 

Success. And yet, it felt bizarre. Dare I say vulnerable? Here I was in a room full of people with my eyes closed, and my body splayed out on the floor.

Taking up space.

Space I didn’t think I could or should take up.

Space I was already apologizing for in case I got in someone’s way.

In case they needed that space more than I did. 

Honestly, if she’s said, “Ok, lay your ass on the floor.” Or maybe if there weren’t so many people in the room. I wouldn’t have had such an existential challenge.

But here I was, laying on the floor, trying to simultaneously take up space and not take up space, and having many thoughts about the whole experience. 

Then I began to notice other times I was afraid to take up space. 

(Wow! This better be a  short savasana.) I remembered times when I decided not to speak up or move forward with projects because I feared taking up space. And then, literally, when I run-walk out of the way of a car, even when I have the right of way…even when they’ve signaled for me to cross.

Have you ever noticed this about yourself? Times when you’ve given in, given up, or haven’t even tried because you fear spreading out and taking up space? 

I could list ways for you to begin taking up space. However, you don’t need to juggle or do one more thing. 

Instead, I will give you a suggestion (okay, it’s technically two)—to notice and acknowledge. AKA to be. When you find yourself sprawled out on the floor of a yoga studio with 50 people you’ve never met before or in some other situation where you’re challenged with taking up space…notice what you’re thinking and feeling. 

What are you feeling, thinking, or sensing in your body at this moment? 

Now acknowledge it by naming it. Something like, “Ohh, I’m sensing a racing heart and a body-wide buzzing.”  

What will that do, you ask? So glad you did. 

It will slow you down and, through curiosity, allow you to connect to yourself in the present moment. The more you learn about yourself, the more you increase your opportunities to change the things that no longer work for you. 

Win. Win. 

Sheila Tucker is a licensed marriage and family therapist and owner of Heart Mind & Soul Counseling located in Hilton Head Island, South Carolina. She specializes in empowering clients who overthink, worry, and experience their fair share of anxiety to become more rooted in peace, ease, and confidence. While also helping clients become more curious, compassionate, and clear so they can communicate more effectively and create better relationships with themselves and others.